An ‘unsung hero’: Events recognize kids who have a sibling with a disability

Silas Shepherd knows his super power. “Being good at helping Jalen, my littlest brother,” the 9 year old from Wisconsin Rapids said. Jalen Shepherd is Silas’ youngest brother. He’s 4 years old, nonverbal and autistic. Silas helps ensure doors and windows are locked so Jalen can’t run away, he watches Spider-Man shows with him and loves to give him piggyback rides. Understanding Wisconsin, Together. WPR’s “Wisconsin Today” newsletter keeps you connected to the state you love without feeling overwhelmed. No paywall. No agenda. No corporate filter. Comments This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Email Subscribe Allison Kruger, the mother of Silas, Jalen and 6-year-old Myles Shepherd, said as a single mother of three, her boys are her biggest support. But Jalen’s siblings have unique responsibilities that other kids in their class can’t often relate to. “Sometimes these siblings get lost in the shuffle. As parents, we’re so focused on trying to meet the needs of our one that is struggling the most that sometimes we can’t put as much energy into our other ones,” Kruger told WPR’s “ Wisconsin Today .” But this fall Silas is attending an event where the focus is him: kids who have a sibling with a disability. The University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point is facilitating two “Sibshops” where Silas can meet other kids going through similar experiences. “Sometimes the unsung hero in those families is their siblings and those siblings are going to have the longest-lived relationship with that child of special needs,” Sterling Wall, a professor in Family and Consumer Sciences at UW-Stevens Point and certified Sibshop facilitator, said. The events are taking place Nov. 14 and Dec. 5. Wall said the main purpose is for kids to have fun and see they’re not alone. A frequent talking point is about whether siblings are comfortable having friends over. Wall said some kids answer “all the time,” some “never” and some say “it depends on the day.” There isn’t a correct answer, Wall said, but the discussion normalizes the experiences of these kids. “It is valuable to be able to express that in a safe and open setting,” Wall said. These types of events happen throughout the state and a number of organizations — such as WisconSibs — facilitate them. But the events through UW-Stevens Point are co-led by college students studying to be child life specialists — a certified healthcare professional who helps children cope with serious health events. Madelynn Poppy is a sophomore at UW-Stevens Point and helps lead its Sibshops. She said kids talk through difficult or awkward moments, but it’s clear there’s a lot of love between siblings. And interacting with the siblings reminds her to take a holistic family approach in her future career. “This was extremely eye-opening to see the kiddos behind the scenes, like Silas and Myles, who are like taking care of their siblings at home,” she said. Kruger, Silas’ mom, knows that her boys love each other. When Silas was 8 years old, she remembers him putting his hands on her shoulders and saying, “Mom, I know someday you’re not going to be here, but just know that I got Jalen and I’ll take care of him.” “It makes me very proud,” she said. “To know that I’m raising good kids that are conscious of those things and they love their brother and they would do anything for him.” Related Stories This Wisconsin summer camp reunites foster kids with their biological siblings